Isebrook Hospital 2023-05-18 Person 1 5 0

I have been with the CMHT for years and been treated terribly. I have been asking for help talking therapies some sort of support as I’m very depressed and suicidal. All I have ever been given is drugs, at one point I was so over medicated (on 6 meds) I could barely function, but was still suicidal and depressed if not worse, because of this I lost my job, my wife, my home, I now barely see my kids. AND when I told them I was over medicated and I wanted to come off some of the meds they said they wanted to further increase one of them. I have begged for some therapy, but I’ve had nothing but drugs. I looked into the options for treatment and saw your protocol for treating depression, nothing had been working next step rtms (strong magnet therapy) but that didn’t work, it was just exhausting, again making me feel worse, the next step in the protocol is ketamine infusion therapy but I have been refused this because 23 years ago I was an alcoholic, BUT, even though I have not had a drink for 23 years, am trained in substance misuse/addiction, AND that ketamine therapy is currently, successfully, being used to treat alcoholism, I was refused this treatment. The worry that there may be a chance I might somehow become addicted to ketamine (in a controlled environment) outweighs the risk of me killing myself. This service has failed me again and again and just left me to die. The only reason I am not dead, even though day after day I am in literal pain and in the deepest darkest place and barely able to function in this living hell, the only reason I am still alive is because I endure this hell so that I do not damage my children with my suicide. I have personally and professionally known people/children/youths/adults whose parents committed suicide and I have seen how much that hurts and sometimes destroys those people. The ONLY reason I’m alive is I suffer daily for my children l, and your service, your service has done nothing to help me, no matter how I beg.

You could have: Offered a support worker Given me therapy Given me ketamine therapy Discussed help/strategies Actually done some sort of work Work on suicide Work on BPD/EUPD Work on ADHD Work on depression Work on anxiety Had someone that listened to me and talked to me instead of ten minutes of ‘how are you’ me explaining ’oh that’s a shame’ me getting no advice guidance support or any kind of work maybe an empty promise of a referral but then either not hearing anything or being told by the people I’ve been referred to that I’m TOO ILL for that service meaning, I GOT NO HELP AT ALL!! And I’m still left fighting for my life while getting NO help at all.