Warneford Hospital 2019-08-14 Person 0 5 0

I'm genuinely shocked by how poorly I've been treated by the AMHT in Oxfordshire. I have been trying to access appropriate support for 5 years and not once have I felt listened to, cared for, or hopeful about my treatment. I can honestly say that every single interaction I have had with the AMHT has made me feel significantly worse, culminating in the most recent disaster. After multiple lengthy discussions, my GP felt it appropriate to refer me to the ADHD team. This was at the end of 2018, so it has been at least 8 months of waiting, with absolutely no communication. Last week I received a letter that informed me the team were 'declining this referral' due to an old (and frankly laughable) diagnosis of BPD. Even as a layperson, I know that BPD is often diagnosed hastily or as a last resort due to its broad symptoms and lack of distinct classification. To dismiss me, in what felt like a sneering manner, has provoked severe feelings of dissociation and suicidal ideation. Among other things, the letter mentioned that I had been referred to CBT services - untrue, as the psychiatrist recommended DBT - and this was a single appointment which was cancelled on the day, while I was sitting in a waiting room, with no apology or explanation. At this point, I was experiencing mild hallucinations and experimenting in various dangerous self-medication practices. As someone who has been suicidal and extremely mentally unwell, attending appointments is very difficult. To be dismissed unceremoniously was catastrophic. I feel that the AMHT ADHD team using this as an example of my 'previous treatment' is hilarious and misguided. To rub salt in the wound, the recent letter suggests that my GP re-refer me, if she thinks it pertinent - this implies firstly that my GP didn't know what she was doing when she made the initial referral, and secondly that I manipulated or tricked her into it (fulfilling a dangerous and misogynistic stereotype that plagues those diagnosed with BPD). It also suggests that, should I 'like further clarification' of the BPD diagnosis, I contact the Complex Needs Service. I was 'diagnosed' nearly 4 years ago. At the time, I was not offered a follow-up with the Complex Needs Service, nor was I asked if the diagnosis made sense to me. I never saw Dr Cipriani again, nor was that an option. Why is it that now, 4 years later and upon my attempting to seek more appropriate treatment, I am sent in the direction of the Complex Needs Service? It feels like a cop-out. Also, why have I had to wait so long to be told I will be dismissed without even a chance to explain my reasoning? It's disgusting. Every single experience I have had with this impenetrable, impersonal service has made me question myself, my feelings, and my worth. It is shocking that a healthcare service can cause such damage, or act with so little empathy. No letter is signed by an actual human - where is the accountability? I would like to speak to the professional who chose to throw my case away, and ask them why? The NHS should be a force for good, not an imposing, exclusive fortress. I wish that I had an even slightly positive thing to say, but unfortunately not.