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Royal Shrewsbury Hospital 2014-02-22 Person 2 5 0

I have anxiety and depression and suffer panic attacks. I was booked into the consultant ward. To begin, they said it was fine for me to give birth in the low-risk ward. It was great, the midwives were lovely, I had a beautiful room and I felt relaxed and happy. Unfortunately my blood pressure went too high (although I had no symptoms), and I was moved back to the consultant ward. I was moved to a depressing room, no view out the window, nothing on the walls, and the CD player didnt work, There was nothing to distract me from the pain other than my poor husband. The midwife in charge of my care was growing increasingly impatient with me as I was becoming anxious. She tutted, sighed, and told me to 'snap out of it' and 'pull yourself together'. Telling this to someone with a panic disorder to calm them down really is not helpful. I was in immense pain and terrified, being shouted at in a dingy room just made it so much worse. The midwife put a drip into my arm to increase the contractions. Unfortunately she'd missed the vein and just injected it straight into the tissue in my wrist. My entire hand and forearm swelled up and was very painful. I was using the entonox purely for my swollen hand at one point. It took 3 days for me to be able to move my hand again. 9 days later, I still have big bruises over my wrist. I'd also learnt that when pushing, to breathe out so not to burst any blood vessels (I'd been practicing this at home previously). When it came to pushing my baby out, I was then shouted at for breathing out like this. I was told to hold my breath. I didn't want to, but she was so angry i had no choice. After the birth, my placenta would not come out. I was not allowed the injection to dispel it due to my blood pressure. So I had another 2 hours of contractions and pushing, after being in labour for 20 hours already. I was exhausted, sore and in pain. The consultant had to reach up into my uterus and manually pull it out with his hand. It was the most traumatic thing I've ever been through. I'm sure it needed to be done and was the best option at the time. I'm sure it was the kindest action to be taken. However, I have been in a state of shock since and frequently cry remembering the experience, I am trying hard to forget it. I am thankful my daughter was delivered safely and that we are both well and healthy and were looked after. I only wish that the consultant midwives could have acted in a kinder, gentler manner. The carrot, rather than the stick, so to speak. My friend also has OCD and panic disorders and gave birth 3 days after me. She reported being treated similarly in Oxford. I think much needs to be done so that the midwives know how to deal with people with mental health issues.