30th March 2021
I was shifted to HDU with a vaginal pack back in February ‘21. Me and my husband weren’t even given few hours to digest the arrival of our little one and he was been told off to go away in a rude way which was really disheartening when it is a first child plus the amount of pain I was in.
I ignored that, but later in the night a midwife was coming for checking blood sugars of my baby and she was so rude in talking to me- eg, when my baby needed to change his clothes she was upset with the fact that his clothes were still in the bag and also that she couldn’t find it where it was- well things change suddenly and if I am disoriented a little bit she could have told my husband to keep baby’s clothes outside before he left -but no one did.
Also the fact that my baby needed to be fed every few hours- the cot was too far from my bed, so when I rang call bell to ask for the cot to be kept a bit closer to me and to hand my baby to me- she spanked me by saying well mommy you should be able to get up and do it yourself and when I told her that I have urinary catheter in me and also vaginal pack which doesn’t let me move about-she just said ok and didn’t even bother to apologise.
Few midwives were discussing near their desk that I am being so needy and that I am misusing them for stupid things one of them also said that she hasn’t given birth for us , if she wasn’t ready she shouldn’t have done this!
No one even bothered to help me with the latching and baby not being able to drink as much-they just said well give the bottle to the baby, it takes time for baby to latch!
It was the biggest shock of my life!!!
Absolutely horrendous behaviour by healthcare professionals to behave in this way and talk in this way in front of mothers. No one is as bad as they feel we are! Being a first time mother is different as supposed to being a second time!
No dignity or respect was given to me while I was in HDU! Even if they would have allowed my husband to be with me through the night it would have helped me.
To start off with basic manners of respect and politeness!
This ward should have the staff who are more compassionate and helpful as the mothers admitted here have just been through a biggest phase in their lives! Saying words like she didn’t give birth for us - is so disheartening and pathetic!
I am a NHS Staff member myself in a different hospital but I have never seen myself behaving in this way or my colleagues behaving like this to any patient, let even a pregnant one! And seeing this behaviour to mother who gave birth just 3 hours back- is so ridiculous!
Not every mother who is admitted in HDU is a second time mother- first time mothers should be given more support and affection! If it isn’t possible by them they should let the partners stay with the mothers as it helps 10,000 times more as even the fathers are anxious after the baby is born! Even fathers have those emotions that needs to be settled down by letting them sink in the moment with their wife and baby, rather than hushing them away like a stray dog!
I also feel that if midwives have a bad personal life or if they have any issues they shouldn’t be bothered to come to work as certainly it doesn’t help any one!
My mental health is completely shattered as I can’t even speak to anyone on telephone or in person! I am lucky enough to have my parents and my husband supporting me that it isn’t impacting my baby and I am slowly able to recover myself!
But certainly I would appreciate an apology!
And I have been so hurt and shattered by this immediate behaviour after giving birth that I will dread entering this hospital & I will make sure if anyone asks me the feedback of this hospital it will never be a positive one!
All the positive affirmations written on the walls of HDU and postnatal ward should be either removed or it should be enforced that the staff follow it!!